“Some Solid Dick” is live at The Flash Fiction Offensive

What can I say? I saw the title and got an idea. Here’s the link. Have at it, please.


New story acceptance

Well, soon enough I’ll be back at the Gutter. Joe Clifford and Tom Pitts, custodians of Out of the Gutter’s Flash Fiction Offensive, have accepted a story of mine entitled “Some Solid Dick.” Now, I know you’re thinking and you’re way off. I hope. I don’t know. You might very well be on target.

Anyhoo… more stuff in the works. Standby for heavy rolls.Some Solid Dick

That Escalated Quickly! has hit the stands

TEQ cover copyIt’s here. My first collection of short stories. From the back cover:

Flash fiction doesn’t leave a lot of room for build-up, so it’s best to start by going for the throat and seeing where it leads. In these eighteen stories Ryan Sayles does just that. He turns on a dim light and leads the reader down an already claustrophobic path.

Active shooter event? Check. Ugly, failed relationships? Check. Dope fiends making smart decisions? Check. People seeking out roadkill because that’s the deepest relationship they can handle? Check. Putting on a soiled Easter Bunny costume to say goodbye the hard way to your former office colleagues who all foolishly thought they had the last laugh? Check and double check.

Each story is like an unmarked pill; just swallow it and see what happens. C’mon. It’ll be fun.

Grab it here.

Junk is out!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to inform you that the humor collection of the frickin’ century has arrived. Junk. Awhile back Chris Rhatigan had the idea to do a humor collection, and Chris Leek and I signed on. We got a few other folks, David James Keaton, Andrew Hilbert, Eric Beetner, Danger Slater and Jason Armstrong. Boom. It happened.

My story, “Invasion of the Demon Ninjas, or How a Modern Day Bathhouse Saved Our World,” features some familiar names (Brian, Chris, Chuck and Isaac *cough cough*) as they “finish up” at a roadside glory hole when evil ninjas from another dimension attack!

What more could you want? Get it!




Chris Leek dominates the world!

Hey! Zelmer Pulp’s very own Chris Leek has inked a deal with Snubnose Press. You might know them from publishing my book. You better f*ckin’ know ’em.

Anyhoo, I just can’t ay enough about the dude. ‘Ol Chris Leek is one hell of a guy in his own right, he runs a blog, does book reviews for Out Of The Gutter and now is scooting down the road as  published author.

His novella, Nevada Thunder, follows a boxer named Johnny who refused to take a fall in the ring and wound up doing time as payback. His surrogate sister Kara turns out to be very talented with digging herself in deeper than she can manage, and this time she’s done it with the people who hosed Johnny. Oops.

Watch this guy, folks. His shit dominates. he’s got a full list of his published fiction at his blog, and of course, since he’s ZP, he’s in there as well. Hammer down.

Jeez, catch-up time

Well, since I haven’t done anything on here for a month or more, I have a lot to put out there. So, here goes:

All’s Well That Ends Well – My story about bullying. Well, a story about bullying. The good folks at Thunderdome were wonderful enough to put up there and even tacked a picture on for good measure. You gotta love when someone puts an image to your words.

Incident In The Workplace – I hate The Easter Bunny and I wanted to get published at Thrillers, Killers and Chillers in a bad way. Unfortunately for the world, TK’C shuttered their doors. But, Thrills, Kills ‘n Chaos sprung up in its place, helmed by Dave Barber of TK’C fame. So, I put this little ditty together and hoped they would pick it up. Post-bribes, they did.

Something Better – a forth coming *gasp* fantasy-type story that was picked up by the folks over at Fiction Magazines. Their fantasy edition, New Realm, took the story. It’s really a father and son story, and could be set anywhere. This one just happens to have acres of burning homeland behind them as dragons torch everything. And stuff like that.

They’re Pros, Each And Every One – my ridiculous bank robbery gone wrong story was accepted for Shotgun Honey‘s second anthology, Both Barrels: RELOADED. I loved every second of this story.

Over at CS DeWildt’s author page I got guest-blog about my favorite stuff: roadkill, running around pantless with a chainsaw and Ronald McDonald.